PGATOUR.COM will be tracking Swafford's progress as he reports in twice a week about his mustache -- the Swafford Swatch -- and where he feels he fits in among the competition leading up to the official voting that will take place July 10 at the Utah Championship, where Bryan DeCorso will be defending his 2011 Mustache Madness title.
July 10, 2012
Mustache Madness is now history, and I finished in third place. In other words, I was the second loser. But my loss didn't come without some fireworks. There were 18 of us to start, and I know this is hard to believe, but I didn't make it out of the first round. I was the fourth guy eliminated.
Then the fun began
The head judge, Utah Championship Tournament Director Mike Smith, overruled the rest of the judges and put me back in the competition. He called it an "executive decision." I call it a late rally by me. I'm sure the fact I've been doing this blog for a month had nothing to do with the decision.
Let's back up a little though. Let's talk about earlier today as I was getting ready for the competiton. As I said in a couple of previous blog entries, I needed to do something to darken my mustache, and Just for Men gel was the answer. I asked my girlfriend, Katherine Brandon, to apply the stuff. As you can see in the photos, Katherine needs a little practice.
The truth is, I'll be playing this week's Utah Championship with stains on my face, since Katherine got a little aggressive as she brushed it in. The good news is besides my face, she actually got some of it on my mustache, too.
When it was all cleaned up and I had the stains off as best as I could, I really felt like I was going to win. I had worked way too hard on my mustache to come up short. Then it appeared my dream was going to die in the first round. It was my late rally with the help of the judges that helped me work my way into the finals where, unfortunately, my dream died.
My caddie, Ryan Baucom, was the fourth runner-up, and his mustache was way better than mine. And the two finalists, D.J. Brigman and James Nitties had me beat, too. James won what I'm told was the fifth annual competition. His mustache was pretty sporty, all high and tight and a lot more natural-looking than mine.
For third place, I got a $25 gift card, which I gave to Katherine. So in the end, she got the cash, and I got black dye on my face.
July 8, 2012
I'm already in Salt Lake City, ready for the Utah Championship coming up this week. But let's be serious. The real battle begins Tuesday night when the tournament holds Mustache Madness. Am I going to win? Is there a way to bribe the judges?
I've been working hard on this thing, but my girlfriend, Katherine Brandon, who is with me this week in Utah, is just counting down the minutes until I shave it. She looked at me the other day and said, "How can you look at yourself in the mirror and not start laughing?"
The thing is, I was a really blond kid growing up, and then my hair turned brown. But as you can see from the pictures, my mustache is coming in all red. Maybe that's why Katherine is laughing at me. Then again, maybe it's just the mustache itself, regardless of the color.
I know I have an uphill battle come Tuesday night. Bryan DeCorso is the defending champion, and Andres Gonzales� well, let's just say he's going to be tough to beat. But like I said last week, if I can get some black Just for Men to really darken it, I might have a chance.
Meanwhile, I've gone a week without seeing my caddie, Ryan Baucom. I'm sure he has a full beard and mustache by now. I'm waiting to see what he does for the actual competition. I'm sure he has something planned.
As for me, I may be clean-shaven for our next tournament, the Nationwide Children's Hospital Invitational in Columbus. But for this week in Utah, I plan on making the cut, a cut, I might add, that will have nothing to do with a razor.
Look for me on the Golf Channel. I'll be the guy with the red mustache and maybe, if the Facial Hair Gods are on my side, a Mustache Madness championship to add to my resume.
June 30, 2012
I'm now in my 21st day of growing my mustache, and I have to say it's not going very well. It looks awful, really, and it's coming in all red and blonde. I'm going to have to Just for Men it when I get to Utah. I'll probably go with a dark black, just so you can see the thing.
When people ask me if I'm trying to grow a mustache, I'll say, "Yeah, trying." At this point, I think I have a really good chance of winning because I'm counting on a lot of sympathy. I think the voters are going to pity me.
Things for my caddie, Ryan Baucom, are going much better. He has a mustache and a beard going. I think he'll shave the beard by the time he gets to Utah so everybody can see how impressive his mustache is. I expect him to have some handlebar action going before too long.
Ryan knows all about competition. He played football at North Carolina, where he was a long snapper for the Tar Heels. He said he knew he didn't have a future as a professional when he went to North Carolina's pro day and said, "I looked around and realized it's pretty tough being a 215-pound long snapper in the NFL."
He's been my caddie all year and is a very good golfer himself. He played in last year's U.S. Mid-Amateur -- clean-shaven.
Unfortunately, Ryan and I have this weekend off. I didn't play very well at the United Leasing Championship in Indiana and missed the cut. We don't have a tournament next week, so I'll be home for nine days before I head to Salt Lake City for the Utah Championship. Then Tuesday night of tournament week is Mustache Madness. As of right now, though, Ryan's mustache is killing mine.
Like I said, if I'm going to win, it's going to be because of the sympathy vote.
June 22, 2012
This is my first report of my mustache growing as I get ready for Mustache Madness the week of the Utah Championship in Salt Lake City. Other players have told me that week is a big deal, and since this is my first year on the Nationwide Tour, I'm really looking forward to competing.
I've been growing my mustache, if you want to call it that, since the week of the Mexico Open, and I don't think it's even growing anymore. And if it is, it's sort of hard to tell. I may have to just get someone to draw me one with a Sharpie the night of the contest.
I have shaved since Mexico but not my mustache. As for me as a shaver, I use a razor, and I don't use shaving cream because I cut myself more when I use shaving cream, and it dries out my skin. That's right. I use a blade straight to my skin.
But here's the real problem. I think my girlfriend, Katherine Brandon, is about ready to break up with me. She hates the mustache, or what little there is of it. We don't have a tournament the week of the Fourth of July, so I'm off and she keeps telling me I'm going to ruin all the Fourth of July pictures. I've had to kindly tell her sorry, but I'm not shaving until Utah.
This week in Wichita, Andres Gonzalez and I are staying with a host family, the Muellers. To be honest, my mustache has been really inspired by Andres'. As most people know, he has the greatest mustache on our Tour. I really think mine has started to grow just because it has seen Andres'.
The good news is I shot 67 yesterday here in Wichita, and I shot 66 today. Does my play have anything to do with the mustache I'm growing?
Well, you tell me.