By Brett Avery Dear David, Missed seeing you at the Masters last week, either in person or on the telecast, so wanted to drop a note to say hello. It's probably best that The Fantasy Insider passed on Augusta National Golf Club this year. With all those blooming flowers and pine trees spewing pollen it's a given he would have been congested as all get-out. You've seen him in those circumstances, tearing eyes bulging like bright red Dangerfield beach balls and a pocket overflowing with tissues. Not pretty. Anyway, it seemed a note was in order after your Friday round. What an amazing 75: a 6-10 start and a back-nine 32 that included driving a stake through the 12th hole with a deuce. Considering your first-round 84 and Friday's crummy opening, grabbing your game by the scruff of its neck and nailing five birdies in last 12 holes probably felt better than anything you've done in dog years. If nothing else Friday mirrors the torments we all joke about as golfers, hitting that one good shot during the round that brings us back for more torture. Why do you suppose it is that when a once-a-week hacker is standing over the ball all they can think about is how they'll butcher this next shot -- yet in recounting the round with a friend all they can drone on about is that one magnificent swing that proves, however briefly, that they're not a spastic moron? No, David, the fact is that there are lots of people who can understand how you felt Friday, driving the courtesy car out Magnolia Lane toward Washington Road. They read the stories about your expiring exemption as a British Open champion and whether you'd ever return to Augusta National as anything but an honorary attendee (one of the perpetual perks of winning a major). That's because a lot of people who have a League Championship Fantasy team or make their weekly selections in Salary Cap Cup have that one special guy -- like you -- who they want to see succeed. The soft spot in the heart won't change no matter how many bogeys you make, no matter how many cuts you miss. We're not talking leaping on the crowded bandwagons trailing one of the Big Five players or any of the armada of Ryder Cup contenders on either side of the Atlantic. Those are the slots at the top of the LCF roster. It's you and the other guys who are toiling to play well enough and consistently enough to move up the food chain. And although some people are loath to admit it, nearly everyone has one of those players.
These writers are alternately looking for justification for keeping their favorite guy on the roster and throwing him out. And yet if TFI were to organize an intervention, sit them on the sofa and explain that they're better off taking other players, they'd ignore the message. Argue vehemently against it, in fact. Those e-mails are among TFI's favorite pieces of correspondence. Because they go right to the reason most of us play fantasy games: A belief in the fantasy that overrides the belief in the game. These are folks who could be offered the chance for a straight-up LCF trade of their guy for Phil Mickelson or Tiger Woods with the caveats that 1] they must pull the trigger in the next five minutes and 2] can never, ever select their favorite player again. They'd agonize through those 300 seconds like it was their last on earth before saying, thanks, no thanks. So there are people out there who will spend the next several weeks in the reflected glory of that back-nine 32, who will keep you in the No. 10 slot on the roster or throw a $75,000 pick your way more often than not. Just because they believe. No, wait. Because they can't imagine not believing. The Fantasy Insider Three players TFI might pick up/trade for to get onto his roster this week: • Loren Roberts. And where do you think he got that "Boss of the Moss" nickname? Harbour Town GL's reduced yardage and tight confines will play more like a Champions Tour site -- you know, where he won three straight times earlier this season. Think this guy paid attention to 54-year-old Ben Crenshaw's time in contention at The Masters and thought about how easily he could still knock some heads on the PGA TOUR? • Mark Wilson. Let's see, three top 20s in six starts this season, including three of the last four. Fourth in greens in regulation, 14th in putting average, fifth all-around. Think he's shed the memory of the guy who missed a combined 39 cuts the previous three seasons? Not playing this week but you can make a compelling case for snapping him up while no one's looking. • Scott Verplank. TFI would do practically anything to swing a trade for this guy, who traditionally plays well starting right about now and keeps thumping it through the Texas swing and on into U.S. Open territory. Not surprisingly he was No. 1 in fairways hit and third in putting at Augusta. Trade bait? Practically any player outside the Big Five (and maybe even Ernie Els, if TFI owned him). Two players TFI might waive/drop/trade away to get off his roster this week: • Charles Howell III. The key to success in either LCF or Salary Cap Cup is selecting consistent players. This guy hasn't been close this year. Do you realize that his low round of the year (68) ranks 201st on TOUR this season? Is that why TFI is beginning to see headlines in the next month about his struggling to keep his card? • Rocco Mediate. OK, easy to pick on this guy after his Sunday at the Masters, especially the way he hacked up the 12th hole in the final round. But he was already 165th in the all-around stat going into the week and he has an uncanny habit of playing far better in the second half of the season (beginning about the U.S. Open). Give him time to heal the psyche and the leg injury and revisit this topic in about two months. Rotisserie results for Expert League at The Masters: 21.5 points (absolutely, positively, completely dead last). One-putts 124 (eighth), birdies 47 (seventh), bounce back 12 (tied fifth), 300+ drives 3 (tied seventh), fairways 154 (eighth), greens 195 (seventh), money $174,212 (eighth), scoring average 73-8 (eighth), scrambles 66 (eighth), eagles 4 (tied FIRST!!!). Overall: 48.0 (fourth). Think TFI can wangle some of that Masters eagle crystal out of his players? Of course, the way this team played he'd be better off auctioning it than keeping it on the shelf. Rotisserie lineup for Verizon Heritage: Daniel Chopra, Ben Crane, Geoff Ogilvy, Ryan Palmer, Bo Van Pelt, Camilo Villegas. Not competing: Michael Campbell, Sergio Garcia, Brandt Jobe, Joe Ogilvie. What are the chances TFI will have one of his periodic bouts of insomnia Tuesday night and head to the computer to shuffle his roster? Hmmm ... H2H results for Pacific Tour League at The Masters: TFI 173, culver_08 168. Drivers: Chad Campbell 49, Justin Leonard 33. Short game: Angel Cabrera 36, K.J. Choi 10. Putters: Chris DiMarco 8, David Howell 37. TFI squeaks out the battle of third-place teams and remains two games out of the lead in the West Division. Thanks, Mr. Campbell and Mr. Howell. H2H lineup for Verizon Heritage: Drivers: Chad Campbell, John Rollins. Short game: Chris DiMarco, Justin Leonard. Putters: Daniel Chopra, Jesper Parnevik. Competing but not in lineup: Pat Perez. Not competing: Angel Cabrera, K.J. Choi, David Howell. What are the chances TFI will have one of his periodic bouts of insomnia Tuesday night ... Salary Cap Cup results for The Masters: The main lineup of Tiger Woods ($315,000, tied third), Jose Maria Olazabal ($315,000, tied third), K.J. Choi ($0, missed cut), Mike Weir ($161,000, tied 11th) and Trevor Immelman ($0, missed cut) totaled $792,400 and finished 16,156th. Through Week 14 it totals $6,618,317 and ranks 2,365th. So not only does the Tim Clark hole-out from the bunker at the 18th Sunday cost TFI's squad about $150,000, he had Mickelson in the top lineup and took him out at the last minute. For a second straight week. Sheesh! The "Hey, buddy" lineup of Phil Mickelson ($1,460,000, won!; includes $200,000 bonus as round leader), Luke Donald ($25,900, tied 42nd), David Howell ($91,000, tied 19th), Joe Ogilvie ($0, missed cut) and Rich Beem ($25,900, tied 42nd) totaled $1,602,800 and finished 12,583rd. Through Week 14 it totals $4,112,073 and ranks 13,838th. At least TFI had Lefty in this lineup. Thanks for the extra dollars, Mr. Mickelson! Majors Matchup: The identical main lineup placed 9,828th while the identical "Hey, buddy" lineup placed 7,898th. Stellar! Salary Cap Cup lineup for Verizon Heritage: Main lineup, Jose Maria Olazabal $290,250, Scott Verplank $270,750, Stewart Cink $251,250, Loren Roberts $105,000, Todd Fischer $75,000. Week 14 winner: woodsindahole/30 $2,698,900. Segment Two leader: par5in2 $10,000,426. Majors Matchup: Steve Stricker Rules $2,818,600. Have a question or comment for TFI? Send it to him at brettavery@aol.com. Please remember to include your team and league names and whether you're playing a rotisserie or H2H league. |
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