With Buick off the No. 1 bag, let the bidding begin

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The Buick logo has been on Tiger's bag since 2000. What will replace it?

A lot has been written during the last six months about Tiger Woods and his injured knee. Everyone thought it came from his intense physical conditioning program: Running, lifting weights, hitting balls. Little did we know it came from carrying Buick on his back for the last few years.

It was sad to hear that Buick and Tiger have opted to discontinue their business relationship a year early, but the news wasn't altogether unexpected given the state of the automobile industry these days.

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The parting was amicable. Tiger said he will continue to play in the Buick-sponsored golf tournaments, especially the Buick Invitational at Torrey Pines, just to prove there are no hard feelings and also because it remains his personal cash machine, having collected six winner's paychecks in the last 10 years.

Inside sources (is there any other kind?) tell us GM made at least one counteroffer to Tiger, but he rebuffed their proposal that would have signed over all the company's East Coast distributorships to Sam Alexis Woods. She's more of a Fisher Price girl, Tiger said.

The decision leaves a very big void for the greatest player in the game to fill. Who in the name of T. Boone Pickens is going to step up to the financial plate and pay to put their logo on Tiger's golf bag? These are the decisions that keep young children awake at night.

First, we must decide whether there's a market for Tiger these days. After all he's damaged goods and hasn't won a tournament since June. Hey, he didn't even compete in the PGA TOUR Playoffs for the FedExCup. Is this guy even marketable?

Apparently, there remain some companies that still see Tiger as the best potential pitchman since Michael Jordan and Billy Mays. Our inside sources within the Tiger Woods team have leaked the news of the following joint venture opportunities that have been offered since he parted ways with General Motors:

• Skoda, the Czech Republic car manufacturer, wants to have Tiger behind the wheel of its new Fabia. The new five-door hatchback is roomy enough to seat four passengers and assorted goats and chickens. Tiger is mulling it over since the car comes with red seats (could he only drive it on Sunday?), privacy glass and windshield wipers.

• Verizon wants to make sure Tiger "can hear me now." The cellular phone service provider has put together a package that includes 700 shared minutes with free activation in exchange for Tiger playing in their tournament at Hilton Head Island, S.C., which follows the Masters (Tiger's only Harbour Town appearance came in '99). The negations are currently stuck, with neither side willing to budge on the issue of rollover minutes.

• The people at Sesame Street, who know the importance Tiger places on his growing family, have also made an offer. Under the Children's Television Network plan, the logo would change each day throughout the tournament. For example: "Tiger's bag is sponsored today by the color green and the letter B."

• The Rosetta Stone language company wants Tiger to help encourage people to learn to speak Spanish or Italian or Mandarin Chinese. The proposal calls for Tiger to back a new speed-language course that teaches the learner, via state-of-the-art DVDs, how to say seven angry words in 15 different dialects.

• Beano. No explanation given.

• The "Martini in the Morning" Internet radio station, which plays the standards 24 hours a day, sees Tiger as a cool prospect. Tiger gets his kicks listening to "The Rat Pack" and Michael Buble on his iPod, but he may require more than the current offer of $10 a week, a martininthemorning.com lapel pin and free unlimited access to the request line.

• NBC also made an offer, too. They would replace the peacock mascot with a Tiger avatar and Tiger would have the option to join the cast of any NBC program, including "Saturday Night Live," "Heroes" and "Kath and Kim." This was apparently a shoo-in until the network's recent decision to cancel "Lipstick Jungle."

The PGA TOUR has a plan, too, part of which involves allowing Tiger permission to give nicknames to everyone on TOUR. He's already dubbed Steve Stricker as "Stricks" and Zach Johnson as "Zachster" and Phil Mickelson as "Phil." Tiger really likes the freedom this part of the deal offers, and TOUR officials no doubt would look forward to seeing if Tiger can come up with something more spicy to help differentiate between Richard Johnson and Richard S. Johnson.

"We're close to agreement and will probably have an announcement within a couple of weeks," said PGA TOUR Commissioner Tim Finchem, who will heretofore be referred to by Tiger as "Finchy."

Stan Awtrey is a freelance columnist for PGATOUR.COM. His opinion does not necessarily reflect the opinion of the PGA TOUR.