Breaking out the broadcasting blooper reel

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Michael Collins, right, a former caddie and current broadcaster for the PGA TOUR Network, had an unfortunate incident with a hotel toilet while on the road earlier this year.

What will you remember about the '08 season? That was the simple question we asked PGATOUR.COM staffers and freelance contributors, who responded with a series of short essays that we will post during November (click here for the archive link).

Forty-three tournaments. One hundred seventy-two rounds of golf. More than 1,000 hours of broadcasting on The PGA TOUR Network.

Our little family of announcers, engineers and producers started the first week of January in Maui and trudged through the West Coast wind, Midwest rain and Florida's humidity. We described the excitement of Phil MIckelson's impossible wedge shot up, over and around trees to win the Crowne Plaza Invitational at Colonial and sadly witnessed Paul Goydos dunking his tee shot in a playoff defeat to Sergio Garcia at THE PLAYERS Championship.

Working on The PGA TOUR Network is absolutely one of the better jobs in all of broadcasting, but we have all experienced moments we wish we could "rewind" and try again. When you watch and describe that much golf, with all of our commentary ad-libbed, there are bound to be some mistakes.

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Before each broadcast producers are thoughtful enough to play back some of our miscues with a blooper reel... lest we announcers forget how incompetent we are at times. I am always fearful they will pull out the blooper reel during contract negotiations.

There have been mistakes:

"Welcome back to the PGA Championship at historic Oakland HIlls in Bloomfield Township, Maryland," I told the world back in August. Maryland? Of course I meant to say Michigan but somehow Maryland escaped my lips.

I referred to TPC Summerlin in Las Vegas as the TPC Sutherland. Kevin must have been on my mind.

I once thanked listeners for tuning into the PGA TOUR Network on XM 176. We broadcast on XM 146.

I have called Mark Carnevale "Mark Calcavecchia."

I looked at the pants the U.S. Ryder Cup team was wearing and said they were black. They were actually dark navy with a red and white shirt. Red-White and Blue...not black. Duh.

I also proudly announced "and the Europes have won this match 2 &1." Europes?

I did manage to mix in some quality work with my mistakes and somehow remain employed.

There have also been the embarrassing assorted moments that have taken place off the air. All broadcasters are bound by the "code of the road...what we see here and say here, stays here." I will, however, leave you with one moment Michael Collins experienced.

His hotel toilet would not flush properly and backed up at a most inopportune time. A plumber was summoned and Michael described the problem. Without wearing a glove, the man plunged his bare hand into the bowl and began a manual search for any obstruction. Michael was horrified at the hygiene but had to look when the plumber announced, "Look what I found," while extracting his hand.

Michael braced himself for the worst as the plumber's hand emerged from the water holding a small scoop that had obviously come from a previous hotel guest and the room's ice bucket.

How or why that ice scoop would wind up in a toilet is a mystery but the plumber was proud of his quick resolution to the problem and extended his hand to shake.

Michael saw the water still dripping from the plumber's fingers and quickly withdrew his own hand deciding a thankful hug would be more sanitary, "Thank you so much... and let me open that door for you," Michael said as the plumber exited.

We'll flush all the bad moments from 2008 and look forward to 2009 on the PGA TOUR Network.

Fred Albers, an announcer for the PGA TOUR Network, is just happy he made it through this essay without any blunders.