Maginnes: What gives with course names?
 
Mar. 10, 2007

I don't like snakes. I've always felt the only good snake is a dead snake. The name of the golf course that the PGA TOUR players face this week at Innisbrook Resort is the Copperhead Course. The copperhead is a particularly vicious type of snake that is found mainly in the southeastern part of the United States. Unlike most snakes that shy away from confrontation, the copperhead is prone to strike first and ask questions later.

With a stroke average over par in the first round perhaps this course is aptly named -- although I certainly wouldn't want a golf shirt with the serpentine logo on it. It is a tremendous and unique golf course but I still don't like snakes.

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John Maginnes gets a kick out of the names of some courses. (Badz/PGA TOUR/WireImage)

I simply don't understand some of the names of courses that the PGA TOUR visits year- in and year-out. The winner of the odd-named golf course award has to go to the new home of the World Golf Championships-Accenture Match Play Championship. All the players agreed that it was a terrific venue but The Gallery at Dove Mountain sounds more like a place to buy water colors than a world-class test of golf.

I find it amusing that so many courses are named after woodland creatures. What do you think the greenskeeper at the TPC Deere Run would do if he saw a 12-point buck scamper across the first green? I don't know him but if he is like most people in his profession he would be looking for his shotgun. The week after the John Deere Classic Bambi is still in jeopardy in Milwaukee at Brown Deer Park Golf Club.

They do not shoot quail at the home of the Wachovia Championship in Charlotte, N.C. Quail Hollow Country Club is one of the best courses on the PGA TOUR. As Ichabod Crane would say -- what is a hollow -- sleepy or otherwise?

The PGA TOUR National Qualifying Tournament heads back to the Orlando area this fall to play the two courses at Orange County National. One is called Panther Lake and the other, Crooked Cat. I have never seen a panther in a lake either at this course or anywhere else. Not to mention, the image of a crooked cat conjures up road kill rather than 18 holes of golf nestled into an orange grove. Of course, perhaps at q-school that is appropriate

The decision to put the word "national" at the end of the name of a golf course seems a little suspect as well. I fly out of Piedmont Triad International Airport. I always thought that the airport was named by the same people who named the International House of Pancakes because the only international flight you are getting out of Greensboro has been hijacked.

Augusta finishes its name with the word "national," and I will not begrudge that course its title. After all, no matter what nation you are from you'd better know someone important or you are not getting on the property.

Next week the PGA TOUR visits Arnie's playground in Orlando. Bay Hill is the famed venue but what about the name? Central Florida has about the same number of hills as it has bays. None.

I grew up in North Carolina on a course named Willowhaven Country Club. There were no willows so it obviously wasn't a haven but it certainly was mine. Also in the area was Croasdaile Country Club and Hope Valley Country Club where Ben Hogan won the old Durham Open. Of course, those names mean almost nothing but they bring a sense of peace and tranquility to mind. The public course was Hillandale Golf Club and -- you guessed it -- it was flat, although it did have the only par 3-and-a-half that I ever heard about. A pitch shot counted as half.

Whether your course is named after a fictional monster, a Greek god or a town, the game is still the same. If I ever design a course it will be a bit different. Every hole will be a dogleg right (I play a fade). It will start with the par 5s and end with the par 3s spiraling in a circle. At the center of the property will be a clubhouse where everyone is comfortable and the drinks are cheap. Don't worry if you play a draw, three days a week you can play it backwards. I think I will call it John's Loop. No snakes allowed.