TFI: Add Donald if you can  The Fantasy Insider PGATOUR.COM Contributor Unbeatable plan? The cherry blossoms are bursting out of the trees around town and the tulip shoots are poking up from the flowerbeds. The Fantasy Insider spent Sunday morning rummaging in the basement, trying to locate the golf clubs to give them a spit-shine before the annual overseas round.  The Fantasy Insider wants Luke Donald on his team this week. (Badz/PGA TOUR/WireImage)
That can mean only one thing around these parts, girls and boys: time for the fourth annual haiku column! Your intrepid columnist hit upon the idea of poetry back in the halcyon days of 2004, during his inaugural season. He was mired in a stretch when his selections were taking a massive beating each and every week. Back then Salary Cap Cup was the game in town. So one week, instead of his usual pithy comments about the five guys in his main lineup and the five "Hey, buddy" backup selections, The Fantasy Insider wrote 17 carefully selected syllables justifying each player. Inexplicably, poetry was a hit with the audience. So were the selections. TFI rolled toward the top of the standings by season's end, coming within a few breaks of winning the last segment. (No, really!) Then in 2005, he trotted out the haiku and again came within the proverbial Johnny Miller half-groove of the top 100 in the final segment. Capitalizing on the groundswell of support around the globe, TFI turned the column into a reader competition, which means you once again get to show you can pick 'em like no one else and have a mighty vocabulary. Fourteen days pass. Then There are three major categories for haiku entries: • Your stellar philosophy for drafting, trading or adding/dropping players in League Championship. • Your fail-safe way to select world-beater players in Salary Cap Cup. • Candidate(s) for the column's weekly "players TFI might pick up/trade" or "waive/drop/trade away." But don't feel constrained. Heck, TFI rarely feels that way in writing the column. Perhaps it's a reflection of his boundless enthusiasm for all things fantasy golf. Perhaps it's the curmudgeon in him trying to improve the reality of the birthday cake just consumed (the fourth prime number times 10 is the new first non-prime number times 10!). But most likely it's just that TFI writes pretty much what he wants and lets the picks fall where they may. Go ahead, do the same thing. It's your contest. Entries can be submitted to TFI's mailbox at the address appearing at the end of this column. There's plenty of room because he's wiped away all the spam. Deadline is the evening of Sunday, May 6, the night the Wachovia Championship is scheduled to conclude. The best of the bunch (and perhaps some of the not-so-best) will be featured the following week. Establish your voice Three players TFI might pick up/trade for to get onto his roster this week: • Luke Donald. First start since the Masters so he may come out slow but his record in this event is compelling: Missed the cut in his 2002 debut but nothing worse than a tie for 18th in four subsequent appearances. He's tied for 24th on TOUR this season in final-round scoring average so if he can get that far and remain in contention it could be interesting. • Sean O'Hair. Nice little tear lately with four straight tournaments at a tie for 15th or better. He lost out to Ted Purdy in a 2005 runner-up finish in his debut at the TPC at Las Colinas and Cottonwood Valley, then tied for 19th last year with two rounds deep in the 60s. If you're looking for Texas roots, he's got them, too (born in Lubbock). • Shigeki Maruyama. This guy has been all over the lot this season: withdrawn twice, four missed cuts, nothing better than a tie for 44th. That best-of-the-year showing, though, was last week's Zurich Classic of New Orleans, as he came close every day to posting his first sub-70 round of the season. Tough to believe a guy of his talent stays down around 185th in the Official World Ranking for much longer. (In fact, TFI grabbed this guy for his match-play roster.) One player TFI might waive/drop/trade away to get off his roster this week: • Marco Dawson. Missed his last three cuts at the Nelson and six of eight cuts this season (including a pair of Nationwide Tour starts the last few weeks). His best showing among the major stats is 46th in greens in regulation (65.19%) but that doesn't help much when he's ranked 138th in putting on those GIRs. Tough to see a fix arriving soon. Rotisserie results for Expert League at Zurich Classic of New Orleans: 61.0 points (first). First in greens and scrambling, second in scoring, birdies and FedExCup points. Overall: 62.5 points (first by 4.0). Having a runner-up such as Ken Duke in the lineup certainly makes it easier to leave Bubba Watson (tied fifth) off of it. Rotisserie lineup for Expert League at EDS Byron Nelson Championship: Ken Duke, Anders Hansen, Shigeki Maruyama, Ryan Palmer. In field but not active: K.J. Choi. Not in field: Paul Casey, Tim Clark, Padraig Harrington, Geoff Ogilvy, Steve Stricker, David Toms, Bubba Watson. Roster change: Dropped Kevin Sutherland, added Shigeki Maruyama. (Yes, you read that right: TFI dropped Kevin Sutherland. Is nothing sacred?) Match-play results for Public League 3359 at Zurich Classic of New Orleans: TFI 10.0, Da4 Skinz 8.0. Overall: 9-4-1 (first in West Division by two games). TFI never should have won this one but Da4 Skinz had only four players in the field when Kevin Na withdrew (the same Kevin Na who spanked TFI's Salary Cap Cup lineup!), so when Boo Weekley missed the cut TFI gained two crucial walkover points. Match-play lineup for Public League 3359 at EDS Byron Nelson Championship: Active: Vijay Singh, Anders Hansen, Daniel Chopra, Nick O'Hern. Reserves: Frank Lickliter III, Jonathan Byrd, Troy Matteson. Not in field: Mark Calcavecchia, Jose Coceres, Ernie Els, Zach Johnson, Davis Love III. Salary Cap Cup results for Zurich Classic of New Orleans: The main lineup of Lucas Glover (725 FedExCup points, tied eighth), Mark Calcavecchia (913 points, tied fifth), Jose Coceres (0 points, withdrew), Kevin Na (0 points, withdrew) and Mark Hensby (50 points, tied 66th) earned 1,938 points and placed 3,260th. Through Week 15 it totaled 3,707 points and ranked 23,380th. First, that's a pretty good showing with two WDs, if TFI says so himself. Second, if he could have bumped O'Hair and Gutschewski off the backup lineup ... ah, well. The "Hey, buddy" backup lineup of Chris DiMarco (44 FedExCup points, tied 80th), Fred Funk (0 points, missed cut), Sean O'Hair (425 points, tied 15th), Dudley Hart (0 points, missed cut) and Scott Gutschewski (213 points, tied 24th) earned 682 points and placed 14,513rd. Through Week 15 it totaled 9,586 points and ranked 5,332nd. TFI's beginning to think he should pack the "Hey, buddy" lineup with some favorites in a vain attempt to crack the top 5,000 with one of his lineups. Ha! Week 15 winner: auschnet3 9,194 points. Segment 2 leader: Chevy Chase1 23,045 points. Salary Cap Cup lineup for EDS Byron Nelson Championship: Main lineup, Luke Donald $293,500, Jerry Kelly $209,000, Sean O'Hair $205,750, Anthony Kim $137,500, Shigeki Maruyama $75,000. Total: $920,750. "Hey, buddy" backup lineup, Phil Mickelson $300,000, Brett Wetterich $270,750, Ryan Moore $199,250, Ken Duke $127,750, Dudley Hart $75,000. Total: $972,750. Tiebreakers: 271, 1. Have a question, comment or haiku for TFI? Send it to him at brettavery@aol.com. Please be sure to include your name, where you're from, the name of your team and, if it relates to League Championship, the name of your league and whether you're competing in the rotisserie or match-play format. |
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