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By John Maginnes
PGATOUR.com Contributor

I was sent to a store called Swoozie's the other day. I don't know who Swoozie is but I am guessing that she and Oprah are friends. When I opened the door of what I soon learned was the leading chain for "contemporary gifts and social paper," a silent alarm must have gone off in the back.

John Maginnes (WireImage)

Immediately, several smartly dressed women materialized in front of me with helpful, if not moderately amused, smiles.

I confidently looked the middle one in the eye and tried not to show fear. Boutique keepers can smell fear like a junkyard dog. In my most masculine voice I asked for help locating the dress-up shoes that little girls can decorate for themselves, a Christmas gift for my nieces.

I was directed through shelves and tables overflowing with Santa Claus chip-and-dip trays, holiday wine glasses and every other high-end Christmas decoration you can imagine.

No singing trees or street lamps here -- only the best. I recognized some of the items. I believe in a previous life I even paid for many of them -- but the thought makes me a little dizzy. On the far left wall, the helpful clerk with the smile of an overseas flight attendant found my booty and guided me to the cash register to swipe my card.

The entire encounter into the world of weekday shoppers lasted less than 10 minutes. As I left the store, even over the sounds of the Carpenters' Christmas album, I could hear the collective sigh of relief from the all-female staff of Swoozie's.

Another unaccompanied male had entered their realm of decorative tissue paper and monogrammed doilies and left without wrecking the place.

On the drive home from my first shopping trip of the season, I realized that as uncomfortable as shopping makes me, it must be even harder for those loved ones wishing to buy me a gift.

They always ask what I would like. I try to do more than grunt, but sometimes I am unsuccessful -- especially if there is a football or basketball game on the television.

But I am a man who doesn't require much. In that regard I am just like all my golf buddies. We don't exchange gifts. But there are some things that I want this year. So, if you tend to grunt this time of year when the subject comes up, here are a few things that you should put on your Christmas list.

John Feinstien (WireImage)

John Feinstein's Tales From Q-School is a great read. Many have tried to capture the game's most grueling process on paper, but John comes closer than anyone else. Whereas his first book on the subject, A Good Walk Spoiled, confined its prose to the q-school finale, this one is a collection of stories from the first stage through the finals.

Some of the names you will recognize, and some are names that you will never hear again. You will be astounded by the emotion that these tales evoke and you will gain an insight that simply watching can't conjure.

If you are a golfer but not a reader, don't feel bad. You have a lot more in common with most TOUR players than you know. So let me suggest two things that you should ask your Santa to leave under the tree.

The first is not sexy, but it will do more for your game than another logoed sweater from the pro shop. Most teaching pros make a tidy sum this time of year selling lesson packages. I know; no one likes taking lessons, but trust me on this one. What can be better than having someone who knows exactly what they are talking about give you their undivided attention for a few hours this spring to make you better at what you love to do?

The other thing that you should put on your list is a hybrid club. Don't claim to be a golf purist unless you are hitting a featherie with a hickory-shafted mashie. Golf technology is big business because you can actually improve your game with a single purchase.

No matter how good you are, you aren't good enough to hit a 3-iron unless you have your name on your bag and an EZ-Pass to the World Golf Hall of Fame. Heck, most of the players who do have their names on their bags have at least one hybrid in the bag.

For every five digits in your handicap, you should have a hybrid replacing a long iron. In other words, if you are an 18-handicap with two hybrids, you are at least one short.

Never blanch at asking for golf balls either. The only commodity whose price has increased faster than the price of a dozen balls is the price of a tank of gas.

Finally, if you have never seen the movie derived from the Dan Jenkins novel, Dead Solid Perfect, put it on your list. It would take someone with a computer and some time to find it, but it will be well worth the effort. It is simply the funniest golf movie ever made and chances are you don't have it in your collection.

I debated whether or not to succumb to the commercialism of Christmas in one of my columns. But people in your life do want to get you things this holiday season that will not only brighten the season but in some small way your life.

Hopefully, the suggestions that I have made here will help. If so, and you get that perfect gift, I know the perfect place to pick up monogrammed "thank you note" stationary.