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By Bretty Avery
The Fantasy Insider
PGATOUR.com Contributor

TFI chastised:
apparently haiku dull
Memo is received

So there you have it, girls and boys: The life cycle of The Fantasy Insider¹s annual haiku column is four years.

A few weeks ago, TFI invited his dear readers to submit poetry in yet another celebration of fantasy golf games swaddled in the wisdom of 17 syllables (no more and no less). He looked forward to wading into the e-mailbag and sharing with everyone your hopes, your strategies and your indefatigable nature after yet another blinding defeat.

Masters Champion Zach Johnson is a former champion of the AT&T Classic. (Ehrmann/WireImage)

Imagine his surprise, then, when after two weeks he had but five haiku submissions. All from one individual.

Thank you, Roseann Ferrick. You have brought tears to TFI¹s eyes.

People, it¹s like this: When you have a column, the relentless hammering of deadline pressure and the need to spring forth with great creativity every time out makes you a little nuts. Add to that the fact that this particular column requires humbling yourself on a regular basis -- hey, you try and pick winners every week! -- and Tony Soprano¹s therapy sessions being to look productive.

As a defense mechanism, each columnist latches on to one or two brilliant themes and then squeezes all the life out of them. Problem is, most columnists never understand that it¹s time to move on.

Like Heloise tips
or Abby¹s relationships:
Is that all you got?

In TFI¹s case it was haiku. And, in retrospect, it brought him little love.

Heck, even TMOTFI (The Mother Of TFI) didn¹t submit any haiku. She doesn¹t read the column, but that¹s beside the point: The hometown Buffalo Sabres are scraping their way through the Stanley Cup playoffs so hours spent perfecting her version of Coach Lindy Ruff¹s unemotional visage leaves little time for poetry.

So this week, Roseann Ferrick wins the gold star. She penned these while riding in the fine cars of New York¹s Metropolitan Transit Authority, ³rather than read the same subway ads over and over again.²

Herewith, two that tickled TFI¹s fancy:

I knew on Wednesday
My golfers were risky picks
Sunday proved me right

Steady golfers stay
Inconsistency hurts team
I must ³waive² good-bye

You don¹t like haiku, girls and boys? Fine by TFI. He¹s got other themes in reserve. In the meantime, enjoy the last few compositions below. And prep yourselves for the manner in which next week¹s selections for the Crowne Plaza Invitational at Colonial will be presented: su doku.

PS: That Southern Swing that comprises the second segment of Salary Cap Cup?

This is your four-week warning. In case you¹d lost track of time in all the fun and festivities.

Three players TFI might pick up/trade for to get onto his roster this week:

--Stewart Cink.

Shaky last two years
Strong at Sugarloaf prior
Hey, T-3 last week!

--Zach Johnson.

Two thousand and four
He wins this at Sugarloaf
Now he bears green sleeves

--Fredrik Jacobson.

Good to see him back
after such a long layoff
Tied 15th last year

One player TFI might waive/drop/trade away to get off his roster this week:

--Paul Azinger.

PLAYERS cut made, good,
Otherwise a crummy year
Faldo's on the phone

Rotisserie results for Expert League at THE PLAYERS Championship:

41.5 points (fifth). Overall: 60.0 points (second, one point behind Greg Vara of rotowire.com).

Fairways first, scrambles
third, all other stats reeking
Time to prune roster?

Local Knowledge: Stewart Cink lives at the TPC Sugarloaf, the host of the AT&T Classic. (Vuich/WireImage.com)

Rotisserie lineup for Expert League at AT&T Classic: Tim Clark, Shigeki Maruyama, Ryan Palmer, David Toms.

Not in field:

Paul Casey, K.J. Choi, Ken Duke, Anders Hansen, Padraig Harrington, Geoff Ogilvy, Steve Stricker, Bubba Watson.

Match-play results for Public League 3359 at THE PLAYERS

Championship: koach 10, TFI 8. Overall: 10-6-1 (first in West Division).

Lost FedEx tie-break
and by just a slim margin
Vijay sours, Gadzooks!

Match-play lineup for Public League 3359 at AT&T Classic:

Zach Johnson, Troy Matteson, Jonathan Byrd, Daniel Chopra.

Reserves: Jose Coceres. Not in field: Mark Calcavecchia, Ernie Els, Anders Hansen, Frank Lickliter II, Davis Love III, Nick O¹Hern, Vijay Singh.

Salary Cap Cup results for THE PLAYERS Championship: The main lineup of Tiger Woods (118 FedExCup points, tied 37th), Retief Goosen (171 points, tied 28th), Stephen Ames (0 points, missed cut), Fred Funk (0 points, missed cut) and Ken Duke (118 points, tied 37th) 407 points and placed 27,244th. Through Week 18 it totaled 10,691 points and ranked 20,700th in Segment 2. Overall it totaled 52,600 points and ranked 2,508th for the season.

Lovely performance
by world¹s number one player
Should never have picked

The "Hey, buddy" backup lineup of Phil Mickelson (4,950 FedExCup points, won!), Vijay Singh (79 points, tied 44th), Vaughn Taylor (0 points, missed cut), Tom Lehman (245 points, tied 23rd) and Anthony Kim (0 points, missed cut) earned 5,624 points and placed 4,696th. Through Week 18 it totaled

23,331 points and ranked 1,543rd in Segment 2. Overall it totaled 41,035 points and ranked 9,146th for the season.

Superb supporters
Around Phil. No, a faint pulse
Ah, well, top five grand

Week 18 winner: EverHopefuls 10,251 points.

Segment 2 leader: BAMF 37,770 points.

Overall: Outlaws 84,471 points.

Salary Cap Cup lineup for AT&T Classic: Main lineup, Stewart Cink $287,000, David Toms $283,750, Daniel Chopra $222,000, Michael Putnam $98,500, Alex Cejka $75,000. Total: $966,250. "Hey, buddy" backup lineup, Zach Johnson $296,750, Jose Coceres $248,000, Fredrik Jacobson $209,000, Will Mackenzie $150,500, Briny Baird $92,250. Total:

$999,500. Tiebreakers: 263, 2.

Have a question or comment for TFI? Send it to him at brettavery@aol.com.

Please be sure to include your name, where you¹re from, the name of your team and, if it relates to League Championship, the name of your league and whether you¹re competing in the rotisserie or match-play format.