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Michael Collins
Special to PGATOUR.com

Editor's Note: Michael Collins, a stand-up comic, comedy writer and caddie, is looping for Bob Hope Chrysler Classic host George Lopez this week. In this exclusive PGATOUR.com blog, he will describe his experiences on the bag and in the middle of the celebrity action.

Rd. 1 Blog: Get the picture, lady?
Rd: 2 Caddie Blog: Difference Between Caddie and Comic
Rd. 3 Caddie Blog: It's Painful To Be Me

And like that... it was over.

That's kind of what it feels like right now. I've just spent the last week hanging out with my friends on the PGA TOUR and (now I can say) my friends in the acting industry.

Imagine your phone ringing, picking it up and hearing, "Hey maaaan! It's Cheech!"

Now, my first instinct (as a comedian) in this situation is to say, "Naw, man, Dave's not here!" But I hold my tongue and just say, "I'll be right out."

Yeah, my first few days here I got to ride around with Cheech Marin. You know, Cheech and Chong, Tin Cup, Nash Bridges. Cheech took up golf while filming Tin Cup, and he's now addicted. So I get to ride with Cheech talking golf and Cheech ad Chong stuff!!!

Can't get any better than is...

Then the phone rings again. Anthony Anderson, "Yo, dog!!! You ready?"

Me, "Five minutes." Anthony, "Hurry up fool, Chris Tucker is rolling with us, ok?"

Did he just ask me if it was ok for Chris Tucker to ride with us to the golf course?!? Stay cool, Michael, "Yeah, alright."

Now, I'm sitting in the back seat of the Range Rover going to the course talking smack with Chris and Anthony. They're telling stories about Michael Jordan, Johnny Gil, Trindad and Tobago, Brazil. You know the basic stuff that I have never done!

Voice in the back of my head says, "Ask about 'Rush Hour 3'!" Mouth says, "Hey bra' (means brother), In and Out or Whataburger?"

So all week I've been getting messages and e-mails from all my friends asking for autographs and pictures. I've carried my camera to the golf course every day this week. I took it with me to all the parties, too. You know how many pictures and autographs I've gotten -- zero. None, zilch, nunca, nyet.

I met Clint Eastwood, Jimmy Kimmel, Don Cheadle, Joe Pesci, Michael Bolton -- all of them. Dinner with Huey Lewis, Cheech, Anthony Anderson, Andy Garcia, and George.

I've had drinks, sat and talked with Samuel L Jackson twice (who I'd like to say is the coolest guy I have ever met!) All with camera in pocket. And I couldn't pull it out. Couldn't ask for an autograph. Never really even thought about it. I can hear you all screaming at me like Nancy Kerrigan -- Why, why, why?

Because when you're sitting around talking golf with all these guys you forget that they are huge stars. You're just a couple of guys talking about the game that we love. And they have so many questions about the pros, the TOUR and what it's like out there it starts to feel like they are interviewing me, and I am the big star. Of course that little fantasy is crushed when people hand me a camera and say, "Can you take a picture of me and...?"

For me to pull out a camera or ask for an autograph just didn't feel right. Not when most of these guys I now consider my friends.

Aw, man! All this chatter and I haven't told you about our last round, and the parties -- tomorrow, I promise.