Caddie Blog: Get the picture, lady?  Special to PGATOUR.com Editor's Note: Michael Collins, a stand-up comic, comedy writer and caddie, is looping for Bob Hope Chrysler Classic host George Lopez this week. In this exclusive PGATOUR.com blog, he will describe his experiences on the bag and in the middle of the celebrity action. First, let me start with the night before.... Imagine being at dinner with PGA TOUR pros like: Bubba Watson, Todd Hamilton, D.J. Trahan, Eric Axley, Charley Hoffman, Cliff Kresge, etc. You notice that the normally cool, calm and collected pros are all, to a man, staring almost google-eyed at something. And then I remember, sitting with us in this private dining area are: George Lopez, Cheech Marin, Samuel L. Jackson, Andy Garcia, Anthony Anderson, etc. The ironic thing is, they're looking at the pro golfers the same way! The atmosphere at dinner was relaxed and laid back. And as the golfers and movie stars enjoy each other's company, I can't help thinking to myself, Bob Hope is smiling right now because THIS is what this week is supposed to be: Good company, good golf, and good times. That's right, this is my dream caddie week. I am getting to caddie for the host of the Bob Hope Chrysler Classic, George Lopez. Two comedians, one golf bag. This is gonna be good! AND we're playing with Samuel L. Jackson and Oscar De La Hoya. To say the mood was light on the first tee on Wednesday would be the understatement of the century, but there is a serious note. We're also playing with defending champion Chad Campbell, and it IS a real tournament for him. The defending champion steps on the 10th tee at Bermuda Dunes and SMOKES the driver over the trees on left side in to the middle of the fairway. Now it's Samuel L Jackson's turn. First-tee nerves? Not this movie megastar -- 305 down the left side with a little draw! OK, Oscar De La Hoya must be feeling a couple butterflies; he's admitted as much to me on the tee. Oscar's a lefty (like me!) too, and like Mike Weir at the Masters, he pumps his drive down the left OVER the trees with a little butter fade. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!! Now here's George saying to Oscar, "If I knew you were THAT good I wouldn't have put you on my team!" I can see my boss is in need of a reassuring thought. "Slow and smooth," I say in my coolest voice. He looks at me like I just put a knife to his neck. Two practice swings (uh oh), and here we go. THWACK! The crowd roars, club goes flying, George starts dancing, and the ball sails perfectly down the middle of the fairway. This is gonna be a good day. No natural birdies on that first hole, but the mood is right. As the front nine progressed, the hardest thing to do was make sure to stay out of Chad Campbell's way. Which is A LOT harder than it sounds, when 99% of the people out watching are there to see stars and not golfers. But I must say this, even though Chad was having an up-and-down front nine, he stayed so relaxed and loose with our group, kudos needs to be paid to a guy who might not look like fun on TV but is a lot of fun to play golf with. Chad was also a great teammate, because he seemed to make birdie EXACTLY when the the three amatuers had no chance. We make the turn at minus-6 as a team. Chad had to birdie No. 18 (our ninth) to get back to even. Then things in the group get HOT! Birdies start flying, we're getting even looser (if that's possible), because the ribbing REALLY started getting good. The funniest thing that happened all day was, waiting on the fifth tee box, George Lopez sits in a cart waiting for the fairway to clear. Samuel L. Jackson leans on the cart. A couple of women start ooohing and aaahing over George and try to sneak a picture. After getting their shot, one of the women politely asks, "Denzel, can we get a picture of you too?" Samuel never FLINCHED! George fell out the cart, I'm on the ground laughing as the crowd corrects the women letting them know that wasn't Denzel. They didn't get their picture. Turns out the year before, someone called him Denzel Snipes! Now that's two different black actors. Think we let Samuel forget that the rest of the day? So we shoot minus-8 on the back nine and finsh at minus-14 for the tournament so far. My cheeks are killing me. Jokes are flying left and right. Crowd is having a great time -- actually, someone has put a sign up on their back porch off No. 8 green that says, "There's A New Hope in George." I show him the banner and it chokes him up, knowing that people feel he same about him as he feels about them doesn't get any better than that. He goes to the house to thank the people after hitting the tee shot on 9. They love him, and he loves them right back. Wow, this only day one?! Hope my mom's taping this on GOLF CHANNEL. Tomorrow, La Quinta and two questions: Why is Oscar fighting Floyd Mayweather in May? And Samuel, "Snakes on a Plane." Seriously, what were you thinking? ;) Copyright 2007 PGATOUR.com. All rights reserved. |
